Let me help you turn the year's events into something people actually want to read about. How?
I'll e-mail you a form. You fill it out. I charge a flat rate of $90, even if takes me 3 days to weave your life into an entertaining masterpiece.
You're going to spend the money on the postage anyway, right? And who has time in November to actually sit down and crank out something memorable?
If getting a ghost writer is good enough for Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton, it's good enough for you too. E-mail me at kat@funnyfreelance.com by November 10 to get the process going. Your friends will thank you for it.